Friday, June 17, 2011

The Captain's Doxy by Lafayette Hammett (1980)

So much for updating once a month. My b.


THE PLOT
Katy is a maid or something for Lord Percy. He comes home drunk one night and tries to rape her so she stabs him with a pair of scissors and runs away. On the road she meets a girl named Charity who says she can get her a job as a seamstress. But instead, a bunch of pirates think she’s a hooker and kidnap her as a gift for their captain. Captain James Bartlett thinks she’s only playing at being a coy virgin and straight up rapes her: “Defeated and resigned she felt the hardened projectile pierce her body.” She starts bleeding and the Captain’s like, “Whoops” but not really because it’s her own fault for being so pretty. So he keeps raping her. Then he gives her a fancy dress and she falls in love with him but is all angsty and won’t tell him. And he’s all angsty and won’t tell her that he loves her. There’s a battle. Katy sews up people’s wounds, including the captain and they are drawn closer together. She cries a lot and confides in Billy, the first mate, who tells the captain that he should come clean about his feelings and blah blah blah. Jamie eventually tells her that he wants her to be his wife and he’s *tried* to show her that he loves her: “Do you think I would bed you and make love to you as I have done and not love you?” Uh, what? Katy tells Jamie that she’s pregnant and they’re all super happy and stuff. All this, which is par for the course for a pre-1990s pirate romance novel, happens in 156 pages. But that’s just Part One.
Part Two finds them en route to Jamaica to visit Jamie’s old friend Sir Henry Morgan and to get married. Katy's all worried about making a good impression, but finds Morgan and his wife to be very welcoming. One of their guests, however, keeps eyeing her lustfully. Jamie tells her that it’s normal for men to ogle her. But then the guest, Bardagne – a rival of Jamie’s – tries to rape Katy. There’s a duel and Jamie kills him. Somehow nearly getting raped was harmful to the baby and she’s not allowed to have sex for a while lest the baby die for some reason. They get married and set sail for Jamie’s estate in Virginia.
Part Three is even weirder than the first two parts. We meet Jamie’s mother, who thinks that he is his father and keeps attacking Katy in a jealous rage. We meet Jamie’s father, who Jamie despises and who keeps hitting on Katy. Katy has the baby and nearly dies. Jamie’s all pissy and sleeps with one of his slaves. The slaves rebel and Jamie makes peace with his father who is killed protecting Katy.

MY TAKE:
Ugh. It was tough to slog through this one. It is rape-y and racist and the writing is overly flowery.


THE HERO:
Jamie is a dick. There is nothing to like about him at all.

THE HEROINE:
Katy is suffering from some pretty severe Stockholm Syndrome, in my mostly uninformed opinion.

THE SEX:
Lots of rape, not so much sex.

THE PIRACY:
Nice inclusion of the historical figure of Sir Henry Morgan.

MY RATING:
Rape: 5/5 stars
Negro dialect that Twain would find racist: 5/5 stars
Mommy issues: 5/5 stars
Overall: 0/5 stars

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